Went to bed around 7am feeling kind of sick, was woken up around noon by some moron going nuts with a hammer somewhere in an adjacent unit, got up around one feeling fatigued and with a headache. I don’t feel so very wonderful right now but thank god I don’t drink anymore because it’s nowhere near as bad as a hangover. Right now I’m trying to wake up as much as possible, then I’ll take a shower and nip on over to the store. Wanted to do that before I went to bed this morning but I was feeling too sick so I just went straight to bed instead.
Anyway, I have a feeling these Satanic media creeps will be making lots of problems for me from now on, but I will persevere as long as I stay strong and positive. They can’t bring me to harm as long as I refuse to cooperate with them. This binding curse has been a bitch, but now that I know about it it won’t have quite so much power over me as it has in the past. I used to say that sometimes I felt like my hands had been cut off. Worse feeling in the world is knowing something very bad is coming your way yet being unable to prepare for it. I remember eleven years ago when I knew Dana was preparing behind the scenes to kick me out yet I found myself incapable of doing anything to protect myself. Of course the situation itself was already tailor made through years of scheming and planning to squash me as thoroughly as possible, but beyond that they had used arcane rights to tie my soul into knots, so, being ignorant of the lengths they had gone to to immobilize me I was unable to do anything to try and save myself. It was like being tied to the railroad tracks with a locomotive steaming and racing straight for you. In such a situation people will frequently advise you to study the occult yourself and try to cast counterspells and such, but I don’t want to involve myself with forces I don’t fully understand. That arrogant bitch Brownfield is riding high right now on Satan’s cock but that ride won’t last forever and eventually she will have to pay her fare. Personally I refuse to play with Satanic forces just for the benefit of fleeting worldly advantage. Besides, I really don’t think I need to. The fact I’m still here and doing as well as I am despite the fact that hundreds (if not thousands) of witches and Satanists worldwide have been working diligently for my destruction for decades tells me that somewhere I have very powerful allies fighting to preserve me. I admit that I have no idea why I’m Important enough to be caught in the middle of such a divine struggle between heaven and hell, but the fact remains that I am. If supernal forces already have such strong faith in me who am I to doubt myself?
Anyway I already won this entire struggle for all intents and purposes the second I triumphed over my substance abuse issues, and I did so entirely unaided through my sheer force of will alone. Many people forfeit their lives trying to best those urges and many people, although stopping the physical habits born of them, never manage to entirely conquer the desire to fortify themselves with chemical supplements of one sort or another. I majorly disarmed them once I succeeded in suppressing that obsession and they will never hold that degree of power over me again. That one triumph alone has made our struggle incredibly one sided in my favor.
Anyway I look forward to this all being finally over. It’s been going on long enough and I’ve been sick of it for years now. The best part of all this being over and done with will be to finally know what this is all about. Actually I’ll initially find out what they say this is all about but that will just tell me where to dig. Then I’ll dig and find out what this has all REALLY been about. I think we’re all in store for some pretty big surprises once that comes to pass.
I don’t know when Dana got involved with the Church of Satan, but when I first met her thirty years ago she was very interested in ESP and psychic powers and all that crap. I thought nothing of it because that kind of stuff was still pretty trendy back then, and besides, girls always take a keen interest in stuff like spiritualism and magic. In fact a lot of guys used to cultivate such interests just to give themselves leverage with women. I don’t know just when Dana decided to take the plunge and actually join the hordes of darkness, besides, I believe many people are actually born into it. I can’t say that I strongly suspect that Dana’s family was already involved in it, I mean, yeah, her father was a filthy pervert but her family was never particularly powerful or influential, certainly not enough so that I’d strongly surmise that they were part of any powerful underground organizations, but again it seems everyone I’ve ever been involved with has been very secretive and Dana and her family is certainly no exception so I suppose anything is possible.
As I said before, I’ve been trying to research these Satanists and their magick rituals but my google hasn’t been as cooperative as I’d like, but all that information I believe is available in their “Satanic Bible” so I think later on today I’ll dig my copy out of the shed. Specifically I was wondering if it’s somehow beneficial for their spells if they are in personal contact with the individual they are cursing. I vaguely recall reading something about that but I can’t recall just what it was. Of course if they know their victim personally they can pilfer personal items from them that they can use in the making of their poppets and casting of their spells, but I wonder if there is some more esoteric benefit derived from duping them into thinking they are their friend when they are in fact anything but. The reason I’m wondering is because Dana Brownfield has displayed an obsession with friending me under various fake accounts online over the years.
A lot of the things I’d noticed that she does which I thought she was just doing to be an asshole I have since found were actually part of her magick. For instance I used to think she just got off from taunting me with hints about what she was doing to me behind my back, but later I found out that’s actually part of their spells. They do that to reduce their share of karmic responsibility. It’s like they are warning you of what’s to come, so it you chose not to act on their warning and prevent it’s happening then you yourself share in the blame of your misfortune.
These people are, ironically, the ones who holler the loudest about magick just being a lot of bunk. They are always saying things like ‘if you don’t believe in it it can’t harm you’ and stuff like that. I’ve used the following quote before, but it bears repeating:
“The less one is aware of the invisible war, the more receptive one is to its ongoing process of demoralization, for the insensate human is vulnerable, malleable and ripe for control.”
So there it is folks, straight from the horse’s mouth. Knowledge is indeed power. Arm yourself with the facts and protect yourselves from these wicked assholes.