More Yack:

I was coming back from storage with another cart full of junk. Of course after digging through all that junk and pushing it a mile back to my place in a cart I wasn’t in a great mood, but about a block from my house some old blind woman with a long stick wanted directions to a trail so she could follow it to the H—- Bart station. I told her that was very far away and I’m not sure the trail went out there and she insisted it did. She had a very gruff, almost bossy sounding masculine voice so, to be honest, I found her a little off putting. I told her to follow me since I was going part of the way. When we got to my place I gave her more specific directions but she wanted me to go with her. Is that a reasonable request asking me to walk all the way to that station? I don’t think it’s all that close at all. I guess since she’s blind (I don’t know how blind) she couldn’t see my cart full of junk, but I’m sure she must have heard it bouncing all over the side walk. As I was leaving her she was going on about a bunch of stuff I couldn’t hear over the cart.
After I got back in the house I decided maybe I should go help her so I pushed the cart into the room and I grabbed a water bottle and went out looking for her. I just spent 45 minutes looking all over the place and there’s no way she could move that damned fast. WTF???
I don’t know, maybe she just went back home. She probably lives pretty close to where I found her.
I hate to admit it, but she really rubbed me the wrong way and I was already in a horrible mood, so initially I admit I was glad to get rid of her, but naturally once I had a moment to reflect I felt bad because I could have been more helpful. I don’t know what it is about pushy people that assume you are obligated to help them simply because they feel need help that annoys me. I always feel bad asking for help, especially from strangers. For instance I never panhandled once that whole time I had to live on the street due to Brownfeild’s treachery, and if I did I’d be sure to be pretty apologetic about it. There’s just something about people thinking you have to help them and asking for it with that kind of attitude that I find unpleasant, especially when it’s someone I’ve never even met before. I don’t know,  I’m sure that kind of attitude doesn’t go over well with a lot of people so it shouldn’t necessarily reflect so badly on me that I don’t like to deal with people like that if I don’t have to. Of course one has to make allowances if the person has a handicap of some sort, but even then just glomming on to a random stranger and asking them to change all their morning plans out of nowhere just to accommodate you seems a bit much.
I don’t know why I’m going on about this whole thing, I tried to find her to help her and she was gone, so there’s and end to it. But that’s just it, where the hell did she go so fast? Even if she lived exactly where I found her I’m amazed she could get back there faster than I could get myself ready then run back outside.
I just had a strange idea just now… what if this whole business was just another one of their set ups for that stupid show? After all, this is just the kind of thing they do. Pick a time when all I want to do is get home then spring this old disabled woman on me who claims she needs my help getting somewhere hoping I’ll just tell her to buzz off. This way I’ll look like a big jerk so no one cares that these media a-holes are still exploiting me while not paying me a cent. I probably couldn’t find her because a car picked her up the second I walked into my house.
Yes, the more I think about it the more convinced I am that it was a set up. Who ambushes a total stranger with a cart full of junk at 6:30 am and asks them to walk you at least two miles out of their way? Of course I won’t be able to help and it would be easy to spin this event in such a way as to make me seem like a selfish prick.
Flattened and Crushed:

I’m telling you, the world is going down the tubes. Whose fault is it? You think it’s the fault of the evil people who are running things, and running them into the ground? Well, I don’t think it’s their fault. Not really. Evil people like that are only doing what evil people always try to do. Evil people are always trying to mess up he world and make money off of other people’s suffering, how successful they are at it depends on how hard people resist them. The sad truth is I don’t see too many people fighting back. If there even are many good people left in the world anymore I feel it’s safe to say they’ve long ago lost their fighting spirit. For instance everybody knows we are constantly spied on these days. It’s common knowledge. Nobody has any privacy anymore. People even post and send naked pictures of themselves and reveal all the intimate details of their personal lives on the Internet. People don’t even care about the very concept of privacy anymore. I feel very bad if I’ve inadvertently contributed to this. That show about me has helped foster this environment. People are so used to watching everything I do on CCTV all the time and reading all my emails and looking at all my online activity that they have just grown used to the idea. I think the public just doesn’t know how evil these people really are. If they did they would definitely not be fine with the fact they know everything about them.

The public has been taught to loath me through this highly unethical television series. These media people have been coaxing the reactions they wanted out of me over the years and have repeatedly been playing them back to them after editing them and adding creepy background music and annoying sound effects (basic brainwashing techniques) just to set everyone against me. I am absolutely shocked that this has been allowed to go on. It’s unethical, immoral, and, I don’t claim to be a legal expert but I’m pretty sure it’s as illegal as hell too. Simply put this is unjust persecution and it’s all done right out in the open. Even professionals don’t like dealing with me and I’m pretty sure it’s because someone is pressuring them not to. What’s been happening to me all my life is the very reason we have all agreed that unjust slander over the airwaves should be illegal. Between the TV show and the website, and G-d knows what all else, my life is very far from ideal.

Why do they do it? That’s a good question. I think they want to cash in big time on all the hype they’ve built up around me for decades now. This is why they ruined my life and worked so hard to involve me with dangerous narcotics. They have my entire life on video, and all my art and writings. If they could just buy the rights to all that off of my nearest surviving relative at a good price they could make a bloody fortune off of all that if they market it right. The only thing that stands in their way is me, while I’m alive at least. Maybe they already do own all the rights to my life since apparently I’m just a nonentity with no rights of which to speak. If you think anything more than five or ten percent of the money they’ll generate will actually go to charity you are pretty naive. These are rich people and rich people don’t get rich by giving money away.

Has anybody been getting on their case for exploiting me like this and literally treating me like their slave my entire life? As far as I know no has even criticized them. This right here is why I have a hard time sympathizing with the average person these days. Apparently everyone accepts that these media people own me and can do whatever they want with me (provided they donate some of the proceeds to one of their favorite charities, of course). Nobody gives a thought to my predicament. The few people I have in my life all work for these people. They watch every little fucking thing I do all the time. They even say whatever they want about me on that show and I can’t fight back because it’s all kept secret from me. When I was able to hear some of their show a few years back I heard for myself that they let anyone who wanted go on there and say anything they wanted about me. Of course a lot of it simply wasn’t true, and they spun the rest anyway they wanted. This is all simply outrageous. Does anyone come out to tell them that they have grossly overstepped their rights by using the media to destroy someone’s life like this? Obviously the only reason they are doing this is because they can. I have no money or friends so they are walking all over me. It’s been much worse since my grandparents died, but they had them pretty bamboozled while they were alive so things were even pretty tough back then.

No, nobody speaks out against any of this, but I have been criticized for how I reacted to it.
This to me is particularly disturbing. It’s like someone shooting you in the leg and instead of detaining the criminal who did it you get a ticket for disturbing the peace because you yelled.

I don’t know how much longer this whole thing will be allowed to go on. It’s already gone on far longer than it should have. The very fact it’s happening at all causes me to question reality itself sometimes. None of this should be happening. Sometimes I seriously wonder if I’m in a coma having a very bad dream, in some kind of hell or maybe I’ve been living in some kind of virtual reality simulation. I have to be careful not to dwell too long or hard on thoughts like that though since, after dying, what they would love to see most would be my losing my mind completely.

When I was younger I always felt that just being left the fuck alone if you are just minding your own damned business was a pretty basic right. Apparently I was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Operation Human Shield:

I know Brownfield and her media cohorts are masters of psychology. They are experts at manipulating people into thinking and doing just what they want them to. They use these skills not only on the public but on me as well. I’ve been their puppet on a string my entire life. I can see why it would work to their advantage if they managed to work me up into a paranoid frenzy. Frightened people are very easy to control. I find myself frequently battling depression and paranoia. I know they have been intentionally making me depressed all my life through constantly messing me up in everything I’ve ever tried to do, and although I know that, especially lately, they have been working very hard to make me paranoid too, the fact remains that I do have much to be really scared about.

The plan behind this show since the beginning has been to market me as the quintessential “crazy artist”. “Outsider artists”, as they are called, are big business these days. They have been manipulating me, through people they’ve gotten me involved with down through the years, to always be as controversial as possible, and they have been creating a lot of hype around me since I could remember. They have made my journey through this world as difficult and painful as they could since I was very young. I assume they gained the public’s permission to do this to me by promising to compensate me generously when this sadistic series has finally run its course, only, if so, that was a lie. They never intended to pay me a cent, in fact they have worked very hard trying to get me to kill myself for years now because once I’m dead they they can really step up operations and milk me for all I’m worth. I’m convinced that this has been their plan since the beginning.

It was when I was in elementary school that they started making a big deal out of my “weird” drawings and began implying that they indicted that I was mentally unsound, but seriously, children always draw strange pictures so there’s really nothing unusual about that. These people have been going out of their way to make problems for me since the beginning. I’m now convinced that these show people even had a hand in my mother’s death too. Maybe I’ll go into that a little more sometime, but these people have been fucking with me since I was  kid. Their plan has always been to get me to off myself so that they could clean up on all the bizarre publicity they’ve been weaving around me. Since this has always been their plan naturally I don’t feel very safe since the end of this show must by now be looming large on the near horizon and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that I don’t intend to do them the favor of killing myself. Apparently my big reward for having survived a lifetime of their relentless media persecution and abuse is to be murdered before I can get my hands on a paycheck they never meant to give me in the first place.

Personally I don’t see how anyone can think a person who is deceitful and evil enough to come up with a scheme like his could ever be trusted to give money that’s been entrusted to them to the poor, at least without keeping most of it for themselves (which is exactly whats going on here by the way).

Their basic show concept has always been very sleazy. Basically it’s all been nothing more than a very long candid camera stunt, only it’s really a lot more depraved than that since they have been hiding cameras in my bedroom since I was a child and all my friends have been employees of theirs. They’ve even been paying women to have sex with me for this thing. These people are fucking sick.

As you can imagine, due to the weird nature of that trashy fucking show those people have been making about me, people have never been generally inclined to be too friendly towards me. Every once in a while, out of nowhere, there comes along someone who’s just chill as fuck and extra friendly to me. Naturally I wonder why more people can’t be like this, so, of course, I start hanging out with them or dating them or whatever. I’ll usually be so starved for companionship by the time this happens that I willingly overlook how suspicious it is that this person just came out of nowhere and landed right in my lap. Of course, through my naivete I would actually be falling into a trap deliberately set for me.

You don’t need a PhD in psychology to know that if you only have one or two friends in all the world that they will have an inordinate effect your thoughts and behavior. They can basically get you to do almost anything they want, especially if you feel at odds with the rest of the world. Now keep in mind who these phony friends work for and maybe you will start to see the real reason why my life has been so crazy, contentious and controversial. My entire life has been a staged production from start to finish. No wonder I’ve always had to fight against feeling lost and depressed. My whole life has been nothing but a lie because of these greedy, selfish people.

Aside from the puppet show aspect and the voyeuristic elements in it much of this series relies on cheap gossip which amounts to nothing more than the basest slander. They have taken the precaution of protecting themselves from any legal interference I may muster by hiding behind human shields like the cowards they are. They make the claim that if anyone does anything that interferes with this slander-fest  they have created that it could have unfortunate financial repercussions affecting the people they claim to be helping through the money they generate by it. This is how they avoid my refuting any of the bullshit they say or present about me on that scummy show of theirs, making it a slanderers paradise where people can say any damned thing they want about me without getting distracted by the facts. I’ve been challenging these people for years to run their bullshit by me but obviously they’re not interested in giving up their unfair advantage. After all I’ve a legal right to defend myself against their accusations but clearly they’re not at all interested in any kind of justice, rather they want to create impressions that fit into the overall narrative they are creating around their character.

You may ask why, if they wanted to create a fictional character, didn’t they just do that in the first place? Why do they instead project their character onto me? Obviously it’s because this way they have that life time of actual spy footage they’ve shot and all that art and stuff I’ve made that can be used to generate further revenue after the big drama of my real life death. Modern media is all about creating emotions in people that can then be exploited to generate revenue.

Evidently they feel their desire to exploit people like livestock to make all the money they can off of them is much more important than someone’s right to just be left alone, and if a person gets cross from being constantly harassed by these people and says some angry things that’s a much bigger crime than the fact they were planning on killing someone so they could make a lot of money off of the story of his broken life.

I’m sure these people also work up fear in certain individuals about all the horrible things I may do once I finally have real money. This is the most ridiculous thing of all. All I’ve ever wanted was to be left in peace. The world is a pretty miserable place as it is and it’s all thanks to the people who already have all the money. People like the puppet-masters responsible for this show.

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