I’ve been writing a lot but its been in notebooks. I did send the following email a couple days ago. I will add to this post when and if I feel like it. As I’m sure I’ve already mentioned before, I’ve not been interested in doing anything even marginally creative for quite sometime now and its been getting worse. This apathy about creating anything in any way interesting has been growing, like an insidious cancer, and has progressed from drawing pictures and writing short literary pieces to even include letters and autobiographical posts online. Not sure if this is the result of decades of being beaten down mentally and spiritually by that illegal broadcast or their hoodoo hexes. It could be either or it could be both. Whatever, what’s most important is that I hang in there and survive this defamation campaign. I refuse to let evil win. These forces of darkness have been swallowing up huge swaths of society in recent years but I will do everything I can to prevent them from getting me. Fuck evil and fuck them.
Happy Satanic Birthday You Evil POS!
I’m sure you think this is your dream job. You get to slander someone all you want and ruin their life and never have to answer for any of it since you have everyone lying to protect you. The down side of the situation, for you, at least, is that only a walking pile of steaming, subhuman shit could actually, day in and day out, do that job and not hate themselves. Maybe you do hate yourself and that’s why you do such fucked up shit? I can’t figure it out, I admit that I am incapable of understanding how shameless, demented assholes such as yourself think.
Evidently my grandfather was very naive to trust you people and I’m very upset with him that he got me so intimately tangled up with criminals such as yourselves. He used very poor judgment in that particular instance.
Too bad you cowardly assholes hide behind a thick curtain of deception because I’d love to hear how you justify ruining a young child’s life just to make a few bucks. You truly are scum you know. When I think back on all the trouble and misery you’ve made for me over the years with your hokey ‘candid camera’ rip off show I get very sad and angry. You have no right to do something like that to anyone, let alone a child. I can’t even say you really wrecked my life because you never even let me build one you could wreck in the first place since you’ve been weighing me down with your constant slander since I was at least nine years old.
Wednesday, November 7th, 2018
Also keep in mind that since they have been so closely controlling both me and my social life for nearly 50 years my media masters should share at least as much responsibility for anything I say as myself. Aside from themselves for repeatedly tuning in, logically the people the public should primarily be mad at if anything on the show upsets them are the assholes who create it and broadcast it. After all this whole thing is actually a reflection of them, it’s creators. I’m pretty sure a large part of why they make sure to always have me be as controversial as possible was to create this exact situation, where the public is so busy frothing over things I’ve said that goes against their conditioning, that no one even notices or cares about the fact that several of my most basic human rights have been being violated since I was at least nine to make their ridiculous little show. That’s really the only issue about all this that any reasonable human being has any business getting hot under the collar about.
Given all this I came to the conclusion a long time ago that the smartest thing I could do considering I have this giant juggernaut called the “media” out to destroy me, is to just drop out of society altogether. I mean they’ve proven to me that they are hell bent on turning everything against me so it’s my safest option. Unless there is something unprecedentedly weird going on here my fortune is already made so I don’t have to go out and fight for it, in fact I’d only be putting myself seriously at risk by jumping into the fray of the world at all considering they’ve already made it clear that they won’t be satisfied with anything less than my premature death. The fact that they used to report on how I suffered from depression and made much of my past suicide attempts even while constantly sabotaging everything I’ve ever tried to do- and even did everything they could to get me mixed up with dangerous drugs- makes their homicidal intentions pretty obvious. They felt that because my mother committed suicide when I was 17 and both my parents were drug addicts that I’d be easy to get rid of simply by pulling a few strings and using some psychology. They were so confident that their show would outlive me that they don’t hold back when they slander me thinking I’ll never even have an opportunity to confront any of them with their lies. In fact, back when I was in the subsidized housing complex and could hear the show regularly and I heard a lot of the outrageous lies they were telling about me they were so off the mark that most of the time I thought they were talking about somebody else. I’d be listening, thinking, “Geez, what a sick fuck!…WAITAMINNIT! They’re talking about ME!!”. Many of their stories didn’t sound anything like something I would even consider doing.
One thing I worry about is that they never even had any intention of paying me at all and that’s why they wanted me dead. Anyway, even if that is true I still think that the smartest thing for me to do, considering my situation, is to stay out of trouble and leave the house as little as possible. It’s a sad life but it’s better than always being caught up in chaos and controversy. I especially need to avoid women. They already thrive on unnecessary drama to begin with but making matters worse is the fact that f*cking show encourages them to go nuts and start serious sh*t with me at every available opportunity so they can go on television and exaggerate everything, making me out to be the bad guy and vilifying me as much as possible, thereby inflaming the public against me even more than they already are. No thanks, I don’t need any more of that.
These Satanists, by burying themselves in the toxic quagmire of this sphere, are only condemning themselves to hundreds, if not thousands of additional years of mortal suffering. They may never be able to move beyond increasingly more miserable incarnations. They perpetually lust after power and all the tainted pleasures of this world. They have made themselves into earthbound monsters. Even if I should be fortunate enough to live long enough to find myself fairly compensated for my years of suffering I needn’t contemplate scheming any kind of worldly revenge on any of them since they are harming themselves worse than I ever could. Besides, living well is indeed the best revenge possible. If I am financially compensated for all the pain and suffering they’ve caused me I can enjoy the money all the more knowing that I didn’t have to hurt anyone to get it. The only person who was hurt was myself and that’s okay since I can take it. Once this is all over I’ll have all the tapes watched as I’m very curious about a lot of things. For instance, based on things I’ve heard people say over the years I suspect they’ve had cameras in my bedroom since I was pretty young. If they did that’s pretty rank, but I’d like to see the old footage of me drawing at my desk during my teens after I dropped acid and my work really started to take off. Also I used to make tape recordings that I lost a long time ago. If they broadcast those I’d like to hear them again. Also I’ll be very interested in hearing all the lies and inappropriate things that people have been saying about me through the years and who said them. It’s good to know who your friends and enemies really are.
I confess that I almost feel hatred towards not only the arrogant curs who have been making this perverse show but the feeble minded fools who watch it. I’d never watch a show like that. Maybe if I was strongly urged to I may sit through 15 minutes of it just to get a taste of it, but the truth is it’s a tacky production made by trashy people and I’d feel dirty if I watched any more of it. Naturally I have such contempt for those people that I have enjoyed mocking their manufactured, pre-packaged ideals. Any thing that a fool holds as precious is bound to be nothing but rubbish anyway.
People may say that a smarter way to handle this violation would be to try to make it work for me, to just do what legitimate celebrities do and work to ingratiate myself into the public’s good graces. Keep in mind that I already know from experience that would be impossible to do in my case. Official show business personalities have teams of professional people working for them advising them of what to do and say and they put stories in the media to build them up in the eyes of the public to maintain, and, if possible, increase their popularity. I don’t have anything like that, in fact I have the exact opposite of that. These clowns have been setting me up, denouncing and condemning me as thoroughly as they could since the eighties.
My thoughts are that if the public is incapable of thinking for themselves its silly of me to give a damn what they think of me. It would be a complete waste of time for me trying to win over the public. What I’d need to do if I wanted people to get off my back is appeal to the people actually putting that show together, but considering what rotten people they are I would find that a very distasteful task. Besides, they’ve already made it perfectly clear they want me dead. They’ve been doing everything in their power for nearly forty years to achieve that so it would be a waste of time trying to make friends with them at this point. They started this whole thing. They were the ones who declared war on a nine year old child and have been making his life hell ever since. Evidently the public isn’t bright enough to know that these people are in the propaganda business and that they have a million tricks to get them to think anything they want about anything.
These TV people are taking advantage of how vulnerable I am these days to use all their power and money to try and destroy me. They never wanted me to live long enough to get the money I’ve been promised,they’ve always used some gimmick to stir the public up against e and create a toxic environment for me. They have always been petty, jealous little people. Yes, things are pretty bad for me now but my job is actually pretty simple. All I have to do is survive. I only wish I knew how much longer I’ll have to wait until this is over and I’m finally safe from these deranged reprobates.